The Real Love Of My Life
by upriserseven
Summary: Dawson and his daughter are clearing out the attic before moving back to Capeside when she finds something quite interesting... [Permanent Hiatus]


**Author's Note: **I just started watching Dawson's Creek again and I re-fell in love with it. And Gretchen's letter at the end of 'Separation Anxiety' made me cry. So, I decided that I would enter the world of DC fanfiction... So here is chapter one of my very first Dawson's Creek story. Please review, but please be nice... I think it's pretty short, but I'm not sure. I'm never able to tell to be honest... Please tell me in your reviews

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It had been a whole day of "how you holding up Dawson?" and "I'm so sorry." All his life he'd never understood why people say that at funerals. It wasn't anyone's fault that Lori had died. It wasn't anybody's fault, so why did everyone say they were sorry. Another thing he'd never understood about funerals was why people that nobody has seen or heard of for years turned up to show their sympathy. Today, all of Dawson's friends had showed up. Including Pacey, Joey and the rest of his friends that he hadn't spoken to since Jen died.

But, the funeral had ended and now he was sitting watching his fourteen year old daughter clear up the plates and glasses.

"Honey, you dont have to do that." He walked up to her and pulled a glass out of her hand. He looked into her eyes and saw the tears that were behind them. "I've been thinking about something since your mom died. I think we should move out, move away. Maybe we could move to Capeside, y'know where I grew up. It'll be a fresh start for us both. Get away from the bad memories."

"Wow! You've been thinking about this more than a week, must be serious. That sounds good. Really, it does. It's just that.." Dawson looked at Sasha and motioned for her to continue whatever she was going to say. "I'm scared of losing the good memories too." They just stood there in silence for around 10 minutes before Sasha spoke. "We should clear out the attic."

"What?"

"Well, firstly, if we're moving we're gonna have to anyway. And we'll be reminded of some stuff too. Plus, theres still some of your stuff up there too. You could tell me about your life before you met mom. I'd like to know from you and not whats on 'The Creek'."

"Yeah, sounds god, hon. Tomorrow?"

"No, I wont be able to sleep now and I dont wanna watch TV or anything like that. We should do it now."

"OK, lets go."

* * *

They had been in the attic for 15 minutes and had so far, discovered where the light switch was. As soon as the light was on, Dawson was about to go for the box closest to the entrance, as it would be the box that would hold the most memories for Sasha. However, she climbed up and walked straight to the back of the attic. She immediately picked up a box marked 'Dawson's high school stuff'.

"Haha. Might be nice to find out what my dad was like in high school." She sifted through the box and, judging by the look on her face, found nothing that she found of any interest. Dawson sat looking at another box of his things from his childhood. Until an unexpected question brought his attention to his daughter.

"Who is Gretchen?"

"What?"

"Here, in your yearbook, you have a really sweet letter from a girl named Gretchen and nothing else. Who is she?"

"She was my girlfriend."

"Well, I know that silly, but details."

"Y'know Pacey, who you met today?" Sasha nodded. "Well, Gretchen is his older sister."

"How much older?" His daughter gave him a mischevious smile and winked before raising her eyebrows at him.

"Not _that_ much older. Just 3 years." He looked at her, searching for a reaction but he didn't get one. "Can I see that. I haven't read that letter for a long time." Sasha looked at him, slightly confused. "After Gretchen left, I read it a lot. I pretty much knew it by heart. Pass it here." She passed it over and he read the letter.

_Dear Dawson,_

_I've been thinking about what to say to you since I left your house yesterday. I thought about waiting for you to come to my door, saying this face to face but I knew it would be too hard. I realised that as much as I need to move on, you need to stay here. Your whole life is about to change in a way that will never be the same, you're opening up a new chapter and you have to give a proper goodbye to the old one. You don't want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, you'll never get them back. So enjoy this time, let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong. Besides, I dont need to spend a month in a car to fall in love with you, I already am in love with you, even more than you know. _

_So, goodbye Dawson Leery. Thank you for changing my life and opening my heart again, you'll never know how much it meant to me. _

_Have a bitchin' summer._

_Love,_

_Gretchen. _

Sasha could see his face darkening and she heard the sigh he thought he'd hidden so well.

"You really loved her." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, I did. But, then she left and it hurt a lot, but it was probably for the best. We were at different stages in our lives and we needed different things."

"Well, she is _really _beautiful. I mean, really really beautiful." She winked at him, before laughing and whispering "Good job dad." She flashed that mischevious smile that she had inherited from her mother and yawned. "Damn. Maybe I am tired. We'll do this tomorrow." She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "G'night dad."

"Night sweetie." As soon as Sasha left, Dawson turned his attention back to the letter from Gretchen. He sat for an hour, reading it over and over. He remembered what was definetly one of the best years of his life and looked at the picture. From the feelings that were stirring inside of him, he finally admitted what he'd known all along. No other woman, even Lori, had ever meant as much to him as Gretchen did.

* * *

Sasha and Dawson were in the midst of packing up boxes. It had been 3 months since they'd finalised the deal on their new home in Capeside. Well, it wasn't necessarily a new home for both pf them. They were moving into the house that had belonged to Gale and Mitch Leery. But since they had moved into a smaller home when Lillian had moved away and gone to college, and the last couple had recently moved to New Jersey, the house was on the market and Dawson thought it would be the perfect place to live if he wanted to move back to Capeside. They had been packing all week and now they were just doing the last boxes. Sasha was sitting making sure she had left out everything she needed before sealing the box. She was just about to haul the box downstairs when the phone in her room rang.

"Hello."

_"Hi, um. Is Dawson there?"_

"Uh, no, he's just gone out to get some food."

_"Oh, right, um, so, any idea when he'll be back?"_

"Not too long. Just 5 minutes or so. I could tell hiim you called if you'd like."

_"Uh, no. It's ok, I'll call back later."_

"If you, uh, don't mindmy asking. Who is this?"

_"Oh, sorry. Gretchen, Gretchen Witter."_

"As in Pacey's sister, Gretchen?"

_"Yeah. How did you know that."_

"I'll tell him you called. So he knows you'll be calling back. Bye, Gretchen." She hung up the phone, leaving a very confused Gretchen on the other end, wondering what the hell had just happened and why this girl had used a tone that held so much disgust when saying her name. Sasha threw the phone down on her bed and picked up the box of stuff to take downstairs. She was halfway down, and struggling when her dad walked through the door. He ran up and grabbed the box off her.

"Hey dad. Oooh yay! Food, thank God, I'm starving." She grabbed the bag off him and went to get some plates. "Oh, you got a phone call. She said she'd call back soon." She walked back to living room and handed her dad his lunch.

"Thanks. Who was it?"

"What?"

"Who called?"

"Oh, it was, believe it or not, Gretchen Witter."

"What did she want?"

"I dont know, like I said. She told me she'd call back later." She studied the look of confusion on her father's face and that's when it hit her. The look on his face when he'd talked about Gretchen showed more emotion and much more sadness than he'd ever shown over her mom. That was when Sasha realised that her mother was not the love of Dawson's life. Gretchen was.

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**A/N2: **So, there it is, my first chapter of my first Dawson's Creek story. YAY! Reviews make me happy...


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